Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Ok, I'm Interested. So How Does It Work?

Well, I'm glad you asked. Here's the skinny:

What I propose to do is simple at it's heart, but not so much in its application. I'm a dude who isn't much concerned with social niceties or mores, but I am deeply concerned with the interactions of people. I believe that the primary goal of life is building relationships of trust and love with people. To this end, I believe we would all be better served by conducting those relationships with a mind toward rational discourse and an eyes-wide-open view of the way things really are. Or some shit like that.

To put it another way: you can live with your head up your ass and pretend the view is awesome, but life will always stink. Or you can face the pain of extracting that fucker, and deal with what really is. I am the motherfucker with a shoehorn to lend.

I would be a rationalist. Oh man, would I love to be the most rational fucker on the planet. Eyes wide open all the time. Never flinching from the truth. My actions always dictated by the facts towards the path of greatest good for all mankind. Well, I ain't. But I am working on it.

I've taken some steps down the rocky road of not buying any bullshit no matter how pretty. Trust me, it fucking hurts. But the things you'll see if you manage it! Not only that but I have also spent years collecting a group of others who, in their various ways, help me along that fucked up road. I call them my people. Here they have graciously consented to act as My Cabinet.

Now assume for a second that you worked up the nuts to consider asking for the help shining the hard light of reality on your problem. Further imagine that you have taken the time and effort required to detail the situation in such a fashion that a rational analysis can be undertaken, and have sent that bastard off on it's way. Here's what will happen.

The message will hit my mail box and I'll pounce on it like a horny cheetah. I'll read it. Then I'll read it again. Then maybe, for fun, I'll read it one more time just to make sure I didn't miss anything. Then I'll think about it. After that it gets a little fuzzy. If I think there is a goodly amount of information and think I can help I'll get to that. If not I've got two options.

Option one is ask you some damn questions. Oh yeah, it's like that. If you present that shit to me and I can see where something is missing I'll just fucking ask you. Try to remember: I want to help, but I don't give a fuck about making you uncomfortable. Now, I could suck it up and do the best I can with what you have provided, but really, what's the point of that? If you want a random guess then ask Ann Landers. If you want some god-damn insight then be prepared for follow up questions.

Option two. If you've given good detail (mmmm so good) but I'm totally fucked for ideas or I think one of my exceptional cabinet memebers might have some light to shed then I'll go ask them. Yeah, I'm gonna talk to other people about your shit. Deal with it if you want some value back. The very select members of my cabinet have proven themselves to be resourceful, insightful, and not prone to fucking about (except where & when desirable, of course). Also they all have fun titles which I shall make up on the spot, as needed, like Under Secretary for VD.

Yes, I think that's funny.

After I have thought, requested clarification or more info, consulted, cross-consulted, and thought some more I'll sit my ass down and bust out a reply which will be posted here along with, at least, the original email. If permission is granted I may include additional information supplied by you to the post. If not it will be noted when additional information was solicited so other people know I ain't pulling shit out of my ass.

So that's how it works.

You want the black box shit? You want to know the filters I use? The process by which I winnow the information? Wheat from chaff? Oh man, you just don't quit do ya? Well here's the thing. I want you to know that so much it hurts. I want you to see and feel the world without filters and social distortions. But what good could I do just explaining those things?

None at all. The few who would stand to read such dry shit already know what they are reading. It's my hope that as I answer things and make the seemingly intractable bend like a wet noodle to the power of looking at shit without blinking you'll start to see for yourself not only that it works like a god damn charm, but how it works.

Now let's get this bitch rolling and see if I am up to the task. Shall we?

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